May 15 2009 – I know why I’m fat

I figured out why I’m fat. I have too many friends. Yep, that’s got to be it. When one meets friends at restaurants just about every day of the week, it’s hard to stay on track. My friend Brenda has prepared food for me for the week. If I eat only what she has given me, I’m guaranteed to lose weight. So, did I eat it at Montoya’s? No. Did I eat it at Skyline? No. Did I eat it at Frisch’s? No. But I did eat it all the rest of the time.

Food is food. It’s not supposed to be attached to any emotions. It just sits there on the table. It doesn’t think, it doesn’t feel. It just is. A piece of meat sits quietly waiting for the hand to reach for it, as does the hot fudge sundae. Neither cares if you eat it or not. Why can’t I be objective like that? Why doesn’t broccoli taste as good as maraschino cherries? Why doesn’t pork taste as good plain compared to the wonder of Cherry Republic’s barbeque sauce smothered over it.

I watch the Biggest Loser and know I don’t want to work that hard. I don’t want to eat vegetables I don’t like. Hide it in a casserole and I’m good. Pour cheese on anything and I’m fine. Add salt and sugar and we’re on.
I’d rather socialize with my friends and enjoy myself than think about how many calories the tuna salad has in it or the hot fudge sundae the waiter just brought.
That’s why I’m fat.

I will say the lap band has made a big difference. I’m not starving all the time. But, sweet still goes down easier than bitter. I hope when I go to the doctor next week I get one more fill. I think that will do me. I’ll have the full 9 cc’s. It’s easier to make better choices when one isn’t hungry. Isn’t that weird? But, when you aren’t hungry, for some reason, one want a bigger bang for the buck. In other words, I will eat the protein first – for the energy. That’s huge.

By the way, I’m not a complete failure at this. Though pounds aren’t falling off of me, my clothes are actually beginning to fall off. I need to buy some new pants. I’m afraid to do that in case this is all a dream.

Ah, life is so interesting. And that is why I’m fat. Now what else do I want to do about it? I’ve got a wedding to enjoy in five months.

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