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February 5, 2009 – Group Class Round 2

Last night’s group class found me with a larger gathering of women. Each one has her own story and her own dilemma, but we do have the commonality of frustration and pain when it comes to this damn weight issue. I really like the doctor who leads us.

We discussed how hunger feels, looks and how we are aware or unaware of ourselves. It all seemed so trite to me until she asked me for my feeling and BAM, the tears and anger began to flow. I felt like an idiot.

I think the surprise of the night for me is that the emotional turmoil kind of felt good. Then when the group was over, I tried to escape from the classroom quickly, running out the door and up the hall. Damn if I didn’t forget my coat! I had to go back. Walking back into the group of afterchatter kind of broke the ice for me. I had to laugh at myself. I got the coat, made a joke and left smiling.

On the drive home I was thinking about the craziness when my sister-in-law, Chandra, called the cell. Sometimes that girl has an intuition about me that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. She honed right in on the issues that plague me. Her words poured over me like an anti-itch cream for my heart. I felt so much better after talking to her.

She said she praises her body and blesses it for carrying her through life so well. When I think about that – and all the crap I’ve put my body through – I realize, this big old beautiful piece of saggy flesh has done a pretty good job of getting me from there to here. It keeps on plugging, no matter how often it gets batted around, sliced and diced. I am feeling kind of blessed by that.

I think what I’m going to start doing is that every time a negative thought comes in to my head, I’m going to say thank you body – shut up brain – thank you God for a great body that has gotten me from here to there and there to here so well! My hope is that sending a positive thought will help me retrain myself to feel positive when it comes to food choices too.

I’m listening to the book, “You on a Diet”, for the second time. What I love about this book is that the doctors explain how food helps the body do things it’s suppose to do. They explain the biological process in objective ways. It doesn’t have anything to do with me being a bad girl if I eat an M&M, but everything to do with the fact the the chemicals in the M&M cause a biologic reaction inside the body. I’ve called myself the Tin Man recently with the knee surgery, but the way they talk about oxidation in the body, well that is exactly what I’m doing to myself….standing out in the rain, getting rusty! When I think about food as a source of body health it takes on a new meaning.

Now if I could hold onto that today when someone brings in Friday fudge……….

0 Comments on “February 5, 2009 – Group Class Round 2

  1. You go girl, you go girl. (I’m doing the little dance where you make fists out of your hands and make circles with them while your upper body circles in the opposite direction.)

    Cheri

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