I went to talk to the lap band Psychiatrist today. I asked for some strategies to help me get through the bad choice making. She asked me if I wanted to get involved in a 12 week psychotherapy program with 12 other post-surgery participants. I said, yes, absolutely.
I am eating more and more candy and crap. It is amazing how I was so obedient at the beginning. I remember at the first follow up group I was astounded at the people who wanted to “buck the system.” Now that the body is healed up, the fills don’t seem to deter me.
So am I head hungry or stomach hungry. Am I feeling emotions when I’m making the choices? What am I really hungry for? If I’m am emotional eater, I eat when I’m happy and sad, glad or mad. I’m emotional all the time. Thus, I’m hungry all the time.
Emily says I need to stop analyzing and just do it. Her voice resonates in my head. I know what she is saying is so true. It is so easy to say, so hard to do.
I agreed with the doctor to log my emotions along with the food. Don’t know if I will connect, but it’s worth the try. So I will do this for two weeks, start the group sessions and go back to see her to report any results. I do feel damned determined.
Now on a somewhat brighter note….Fred and I had a blast this week-end. One of our dear friends turned 40. Her husband surprised her with a deluxe party at a local reception hall. It was a reunion of many of the people I worked with at Grant’s Lick Elementary School and the high school, back in happier days. Our 40 year old friend, Amy, was a teacher when I worked there. She is now the principal. I guess well over 100 people were in attendance. We had so much fun.
One of our silliest, friendliest and jovial friends came over to Fred and me saying, “Hey you two, I heard you are in Luuuuuuuub! And, I had to hear it on the street, what gives with that?!” I thought Fred was going to roll out of his chair laughing. She is so funny and just kept on teasing us. It was wonderful to hear his laughter coming from deep within him. I was so proud to be with him. The whole evening was wonderful.
Back to lap band thoughts – When I start feeling dicey about my eating plan, I think one of my strategies is to remember Fred’s smile and laughter. That will make it easier to stay on track. I want him to be as proud to be with me as I was with him. That’s kind of a cool incentive. 🙂
Onward…..
You and I have talked about this lots, so this is more just clarification for other readers.
It isn’t that you should STOP analyzing, because it is important to understand why we do the things that we do. I just don’t want you to get hung up on the analysis and forget the action.
You’re doing fine…there are always bumps in the road, but ultimately the road will lead you to where you want to go as long as you stay on it. You can do it!! 😀