November 15, 2008 – Impatience and the doc

I’m a very impatient person I think. Today I went to the doctor to see how I’m doing with the band. Well, five more pounds are gone. I’m disappointed. Isn’t that ridiculous? I wanted it to be 10.

Logically I know it’s good to lose weight slowly. Steve, the nurse at the doctor’s office, has lost 130 pounds. He had the gastric. He said it takes longer to lose weight with the band, but it’s better for the body – and mind. His surgery was three years ago and he says he still has difficulty when he looks in the mirror. His eyes can’t believe what they see. He likened our weight loss to an amputee’s phantom pain and feeling that their lost limb is still there. I’ve heard they feel their toes wiggling. He said his weight came off so fast, his brain couldn’t keep up.

When he shared that with me, I cried. I’m not sure why. I feel depressed.

I did get a fill in the band, so I’m back on liquids for two days, pureed for three days and regular soft food – just in time for Thanksgiving. Of course, who knows what that day will be like since I’m having surgery the day before. I’m hoping I will be able to enjoy the day and not be completely miserable with pain. I’m hoping the local anesthesia the orthopedic surgeon gives me will last at least through Friday. We shall see.

Fred is planning to spend the day with me, so I want to be upbeat. I’m not sure what we are going to do with the day. My in-laws Jim and Betty want us to come there. Fred has never met them. I’m not sure what he would think about that. I haven’t asked him his thoughts, yet. I know his sister, Joyce, may invite us there too. I hope I’m up for whatever.

Impatience is what I’m feeling about everything. Weight, surgery, relationship, I still want to know before it happens how everything is going to turn out!