September 1, 2008 – Whatever happened to the doll?

Meme has been relegated to the basement family room. She sits in a tiny chair by the fireplace I hate. She is surrounded by Rubbermaid boxes containing fragments and shreds of my life. Her arms are reaching out as if she is trying to keep them from falling on her.

Interesting imagery.

I haven’t thought about her very much. I would say I’ve been too busy to even notice.

Something interesting happens with the doll. Most people who see her think she’s Emily! Now when I think of her as Emily, Meme becomes a beautiful doll; full of talent, smarts, common sense, beauty inside and out.

Now that is imagery I like. Meme is Emily?

When I think of everything I’ve done in my life and all of the things I hate about myself, one thing that I am always, ALWAYS proud of is that I am Emily’s Mom. She is incredible. She is all that is good. She has grown to be an independent woman who makes her own choices. She is not a replication of me, though I suppose I do enjoy her success as my own – just a little bit. When I think of myself and all that is good, I look at Emily and know I did something right. I’ve helped to raise a woman of integrity, dignity, charity and warmth. I am so proud of her. Her father would be too. She makes me proud of me.

So I now look at Meme in a whole new way. She is truly all the potential I hold. Just like Emily was full of potential at her birth. I am full of potential too. Meme isn’t empty, she is full of possibility. I like that.

Meme isn’t a toy for me to hate. She is just an empty shell waiting to be filled up with the potential of newfound experiences, memories and joys.

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