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July 4, 2007 – Independence Day

Declaring independence is what I want to do. I’m declaring independence from my old self.

I’m watching a taped Oprah. She just had a woman who lost 100 pounds and feels good about herself. She said she changed when she saw Wynonna Judd on Oprah talking about not getting what she needed out of her life. Oprah said something about finding the courage to live your dreams.

Dreams.
Most of my dream have been fulfilled.

I wanted to be married.
I wanted to be a mother.
I wanted to live in a house with french doors.

Admittedly a mansion or big farm would have been cool. Doesn’t everyone dream about being rich? I’ve always wanted to be rich enough to be able to hire a person like Hazel, the wise maid from the 50’s/60’s t.v. show.

I don’t feel very smart when it comes to money though. Perhaps that’s self-fulfilling prophesy.

Maybe that’s my new dream. Hire a Hazel.

Oh yea, I want a jacuzzi too.

Fall in love again would be a great dream. I do have that one.

OK so I guess I have a couple of dreams. But how does that relate to independence? Hmmm.

Oh yes, independence from my body would be good.
I suppose I do want an easy fix for everything.
Bam, I’m skinny
Boom, I’m wealthy
Zing, I’m in love
Ding, I’m happy

Who wants to work at it? It should be easy. It should be easy because when desire leads, time disappears.

I lost 45 pounds in five months and gained a lot of it back in six. The five months went by fast. The six went faster.
Arg.

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