At last, I found her today. She is me.I found a website called MyTwinn.com. They use a picture of a child to create the doll. I sent a photo of myself at the age of seven. It was a time when I was most happy and content. I have a smile in the photo like the first light the dawn. My eyes are twinkling like white lights at Christmas. This doll must begin with happiness. I was a happy and bubbly child. I am a happy and somewhat bubbly adult. It is the negative hiding under the surface I must look at squarely. I hope the doll fulfills my expectations.
There’s the rub.
E X P E C T A T I O N S
Will I be disappointed? What if I am?
The doll will represent me when I began making decisions for and about myself, the decisions that created the mix of perceptions I hold, whether they be true or distorted. The perceptions I’ve given power to over my thoughts and behaviors. The doll will help me see how I made those decisions based on the limited knowledge I had as a child or young teen. The perceptions created by innocence and fear.